Tubing down the gunpowder river has long been a favorite summer pastime of Baltimore bros. For just as long Party Rock and Shotgun Beach have been iconic landmarks along the fabled route from Blue Mount to Monkton. Much as Chimney Rock and Fort Walla Walla did for American pioneers on the Oregon Trail, Party Rock and Shotgun Beach guide the Baltimore bro on his perilous journey through northern Baltimore County. The only difference is that if your tube flips, instead of losing two oxen and cousin Zeke, you lose seven Natty Bohs and a pair of Rainbows.
The journey starts out in a deceptively peaceful manner in Blue Mount Cove. Some days you may even see children playing in the swimming whole. Don’t let this fool you, the Gunpowder is no place for kids! Once you have all the members of your party flotilla securely fastened together and all of the Bohs properly stored your journey may begin. The flotilla drifts out of the cove and as soon as you hit the first rapid there is no turning back. Extremely heavy rain and water flowing freely over Prettyboy dam can sometimes create rapids as strong as class one! This can make tossing a Boh or Tennis ball across the flotilla very risky. For what seems like thirty minutes you float treacherously with the river in complete control of your tube (only zeros in canoes bring paddles). Finally you go around a sharp bend and there it is, looming tall out of the river. I imagine the sight is much like what the lookout on the Titanic saw when the iceberg emerged from the fog. Except instead of yelling “Iceberg!” the lookout would flip on the waterproof boom box and yell “Paaaaaarrrty Rooooooock!”
Just the sight of Party Rock does not mean you have reached safety. Party Rock is often inhabited by unruly natives. Over the years I have encountered these natives many times and despite their uncivilized nature I find myself fascinated by their culture. Their dress is odd and not something to which the Baltimore bro is accustomed. They seem to be nervous about showing any knee and they have extra pockets on the sides of their shorts. I speculate that these extra pockets are for carrying their primitive tools. These creatures also seem to have an affinity for drinking their own urine (or maybe those are just Miller Lites, sometimes it is hard to tell the difference.)
Once you have dispatched of the natives (I have found the quickest and safest method is to have one of the wenches in your flotilla to oblige to one of their tribal calls of “show us yo’ tits!” This seems to satisfy them. They high-five for a while, but then vacate the rock) dock your tubes in the serene harbor just on the other side of the rock. Cautiously make your way up the slippery rock face and then let Party Rock take you over. Party Rock’s slippery surface greatly enhances the excitement of noodling. Flail you arms in all directions as the wenches “oooo” and “aahhh” from below. You can also impress with your graceful dives into the deep water that surrounds Part Rock (BohsandOs.com Disclaimer: Not everyone dives as gracefully as us and some may break their necks). The safety atop Party Rock is also perfect for heckling passersby. “Nice rental tube, peasant! Couldn’t afford one of your own?” Eventually the Party Rock festivities must come to an end, but do not despair, Shotgun Beach is only a few minutes down the river.
Several myths about the naming of shotgun beach exist, each more fantastical than the next. All of them begin with “The river was angry that day my friends,” but the most prominent story tells the harrowing tale of a group of Baltimore bros home on summer vacation. Heavy rains caused a flash flood on the Gunpowder and just when they thought all was lost a tsunami picked them up and crashed them on to a deserted beach. One of their Boh cans was punctured by a sharp rock and lay there before them glistening in the sun waiting to be shotgunned.
Whichever version you believe Shotgun Beach is an ideal destination for Gunpowder River goers. The beach offers fine skipping rocks which can be used to impress the stream slammies on your expedition or to impale other tubers floating by the beach. The sandy bottom of the river makes you feel like you are in the Caribbean. The substantial depth of the river allows for good swimming, a place to relieve oneself, and for the broiest of bros in the group this means that Shotgun Beach can be turned into Dunkaroo Beach!
Spend as much time as you can at Shotgun Beach because a few more bends of the river brings the bridge into a view and with it a return to reality. The climb up from the river can be the most dangerous part of the river as you try to balance a tube full of empty Boh cans. Do not litter! Make sure none of those Boh cans fall back into the river. In fact some have even said that the true meaning of Boh cap #52 is “do not litter.” Please keep the Gunpowder clean for future generations.
Tubing Tips:
- Buy a tube if you can. Some tubes online cost as little as $20. Buying online is your best bet because Dick’s and Wal-Mart in Hunt Valley are normally sold out.
- If you must rent a tube do not rent one from the Monkton Trading Post for $20. There are vendors in trucks on the side of the road that offer them for $10.
- Bring a floating cooler. It makes it much easier if you don’t have to carry the Natty Bohs in your tube. It also provides a good container for the empties. If you don’t have a cooler make sure several tubes have bottoms to store the beer or else you will have to hold it the whole time.
- Bring a tennis ball. Throwing a tennis ball from tube to tube provides some entertainment for the trip.
- There is a great sno-ball stand in Hereford that is perfect for a post-tube refreshment.
Routes:
- Blue Mount Road to Monkton – This is the route that I described in the post. Duration is a little over 2 hours. The best strategy for this route is to park a car in Monkton and then drive about 5 minutes to Blue Mount. If you rent the $20 tubes there is a shuttle that will take you to Blue Mont.
- Big Falls Road to Monkton – This route requires that you drive past Blue Mont to Big Falls Road. This float will take 3.5 hours.
- Walking from Monkton – Tubers can walk up the NCR trail from Monkton for about 15 minutes for a float that lasts around 45 minutes. Caution: You will not pass Party Route on this route.
- Bunker Hill Road to Big Falls Road – This is a lesser known route and does not include Party Rock. There is a small park at Bunker Hill that has a large swimming hole. From there it is about a 4 hour float to Big Falls Road. Going under the 83 makes you feel like you are in the Fellow Ship of The Ring when their boats enter Gondor.
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When at Shotgun Beach keep your guard up as fabled river predator Ron Mexico has been known to commandeer young lasses from their unsuspecting boyfriends.
Don’t forget this is a perfect chance for a romantic getaway, full of stolen glances, empty promises, and most importantly…..hand holding.
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[...] that talks about “Party Rock” so I would like to thank the Baltimore Sun for the mention. Here is our article. I am not sure the Sun really understood the point of the article. First of all I’m not sure [...]