Has anyone else ever noticed that Red Sox fans and warm weather don’t seem to get along very well? They always look either extremely awkward or way overdressed, usually both. This relationship was on full display last weekend as the Red Sox and their throngs of fans from across the country came into town for a series. Here are some observations from a Saturday night ballgame and various trips down to the inner harbor:
- Dark colors. Most of the idiotic Red Sox apparel such as “in-sox-icated,” “we do it with our Sox on,” “Yankees Suck” and 2005 replica “2004 World Series” shirts come in navy blue or, of course, green. These colors do not handle sun well.
- Big, clunky sandals. Why have Red Sox fans still not gotten the memo on rainbows/reefs/chacos. they all seem to wear weird woven leather sandals, those ones with bottle openers on the bottom “in case I want to crush a friggin bee-ahhh,” or, gasp, non-thong sandals
- shorts below the knees, generally in cargo and/or plaid style
- oakley sunglasses
- kevin youklis-style facial hair
- hair gel. this must get pretty gross when baking in the sun, probably dripping all over their faces and obscuring the field of play. Luckily Red Sox fans tend not to actually care about watching baseball, especially when they are too busy:
- starting the wave. On Saturday night, the O’s and Red Sox played a very entertaining baseball game, but you wouldn’t know it from Red Sox fans who were too busy starting (and maintaining for about 10 minutes) a stadium-wide wave. seriously, it’s A) 85 degrees out and B) an intra-divisional series, no need to stand up repeatedly and ignore the important game going on.
- drinking coronas. Red Sox fans have clearly bought into the commercials for Corona trying to push it as the beer of summer, because that was all I saw them drinking at OPACY. Corona is possibly the worst beer ever (aside from maybe Land Shark, which is also popular among Red Sox fans) and isn’t even close to being as refreshing as a Bud Light in the warmer months.
- Riding on Spirit Cruises: nothing says summer like eating an indoor buffet in an air-conditioned boat compartment while listening to Sweet Caroline on repeat.
I know it’s slightly colder in Boston than in Baltimore, but a lot of the Red Sox fans are from warm places like West Virginia and Oklahoma, so it makes no sense to me that they wouldn’t know how to handle heat. Does anyone have any theories on this?
4 Comments
Most Red Sox fans probably bought all of their merchandise in October and November of 2004, when it wasn’t particularly hot outside.
Good point
I;m an O’s fan and all but, your inferiority complex is showing,,
All true Baltimore Sports fans suffer from acute inferiority complex. Boh’s comment should be seen as a complement and a testament to Hampsterdam’s status as big Baltimore sports guy.